The Red Clay Strays - Wondering Why (Lyrics)

Lord, it's a little WHOLE piece of Heavеn

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Prayer to St. Blessed Xenia of Petersburg

 

St. Bl. Xenia of Petersburg

Prayer to St. Blessed Xenia of Petersburg

O holy all-blessed Mother Xenia! Having lived under the protection of the Most High, having been guided and strengthened by the Mother of God, having endured hunger and thirst, cold and heat, reproach and persecution, you have received from God the gift of foresight and miracle-working and you rest under the shelter of the Almighty. The Holy Church now glorifies you as a fragrant blossom. Praying before your holy icon we ask you, as one who is alive and present with us: Do accept our petitions and bring them up to the Throne of the merciful Heavenly Father, as [one] having boldness before Him; Ask for eternal salvation for those who come running unto you, compassionate blessing for our good deeds and undertakings, and deliverance from all misfortunes and sorrows; Stand before our All-Merciful Savior with your holy supplications for us, unworthy and sinners. O holy and blessed Mother Xenia, help our children to receive illumination by the light of holy baptism and the seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit; [help] Raise our boys and girls in faith, honesty, instill fear of God and grant them success in their learning; Heal the sick and ailing; Send down love and concord upon families; Account monastics worthy to struggle in good deeds and protect them from reproach; Make our the pastors steadfast in the might of the Holy Spirit; preserve the Orthodox faithful and this earth in peace and tranquility; and Pray for those deprived of the Holy Mysteries of Christ at the hour of death. You are our hope and trust, speedily hearkening to us and delivering us, and unto you we give thanks and with you we do glorify the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

St. Bl. Xenia of Peterrsburg Church, Varna

Love, by Miryana Basheva /1947-2020/

Love, by Miryana Basheva /1947-2020/ 

Миряна Башева		Miryana Basheva
ЛЮБОВ		LOVE
Когато вече няма да те има във вид, така удобен за любов - ще отпечатат черното ти име на белия тържествен послеслов... Отдолу с едър шрифт ще се разпишат десетки равнодушни имена. Под тях (по-дребно) - и жена ти (бившата); под нея - и по-бившата жена; и тъй нататък... Седем-осем души (от най-долуподписаните там) ще седнат в клуба. Ще мълчат. Ще пушат. И ще поливат с вино пепелта. И някой, който те е мразил приживе, ще се кълне в любов към твоя прах. А някой, който и не те е виждал, ще викне: "Как, бе?! Вчера го видях!" И някой стар и предан съслужител на всички ще раздава черен креп... У вас ще плачат и ще варят жито. И само аз ще бъда още с теб. Ще бъда с теб! Сред тайнствения шепот на докторско-латински диалект. Край санитаря, който пуши в шепа и чака да докарат нов ковчег. За мене чакането свърши вчера. Затуй не чувам и не ме боли, когато тъй обичания череп пробиват с най-дебелите игли. Затуй не виждам нито тоя скалпел, под който кръв отдавна не шурти, ни тая ледено-студена талпа, която уж си - ти... Нима си ти?! Това си ТИ... Добре, де - нищо ново. И жив съм те целувала - студен! - Сега поне не си съвсем виновен; не знаеш ТИ какво ми е на МЕН - и слава богу! Аз дори се кръстя - от атавизъм, не че има бог... Уж коленича, а - стоя на пръсти, за да те стигна... Колко си висок! И както много, много много пъти - ДУША В ДУШАТА - те целувам пак... Изтръгват ме със сила от трупа ти. И чувам през мъгла от амоняк: "Ценим високо силните ви чувства. Но тук се искат нерви на стоик! И затова ви молим да напуснете - най-страшното тепърва предстои... Върви си! Чуваш ли! Тук аз нареждам! И без това съм доста угнетен... Ах - тоя - твоят!... Беше безнадежден. Вертебро-базиларен инцидент." "Аз, докторче, съм цялата - спокойствие. Но мога и да откача така, че цялото ти вертебрално войнство не може да те вдигне на крака! Познаваме се... хич не ме закачай; не ме плаши с най-страшните неща. Те вече минаха през мен. Така че - прави, каквото още имаш там..." Дали, че докторът е стар приятел (нали и той е малко некрофил) - но аз стоя отново до главата ти... (Като във български игрален филм.) И гледам как най-страшното се случва - разрязват те... при пълна тишина... (Това е вече филм на Бертолучи.) Костта е тънка - като на жена. (И кожата ти беше като костите! И вечно се раздираше - до кръв - от прекалена нежност; от недостиг на нежност... Е, не беше ли такъв?) А... Докторите вече те отвориха! Сега оголват мозъчния ствол... Като корона на огромен орех аз виждам сивото ти вещество! Аз виждам чудо, за което никой не можеше да ме предизвести... От тая крехка тъкан е пониквал безкраен космос... Е - това си ти! Безкраен космос. И безкрайно малък... Но той до молекула е побрал и звездния, и хорския наваляк; и корените в земните недра; безумието: "Вие или ние?!" - с кръвта, която тече и тече; надеждата в летящите чинии с невинното зелено човече; и тая вечна вяра - че сме вечни! - разгаряна в любовния екстаз на всичко живо - и живяло вече - и станало на прах... And all that jazz.		When there will be no more you in a form so convenient for love - they’ll print your black name of the white solemn afterword ... Beneath there will be – imprinted in large font dozens of indifferent names. Below them (smaller) - of your (ex) wife; below hers - and the ex-ex wife; and so on ... Seven or eight people (of the lowest printed there) will sit in the club. Be silent. Smoking. And pouring wine onto the ashes. And someone who hated you when living, will swear in love to your dust. While someone who has never seen you will shout: "How come?! I saw him yesterday!" And an old devoted co-worker will distribute black crepe to everyone ... They’ll cry and boil wheat at yours. And only I will be there still with you. I will be with you! Amid mysterious whisper of the doctor’s-Latin dialect. Near the paramedic smoking in his cupped hands and waiting for a new coffin to be brought. For me, the wait was over yesterday. That's why I hear nit and hurt not, when the so much beloved skull us pierced with the thickest of needles. That's why I see neither this scalpel, with no blood flowing underneath, or that ice-cold plank, that seemingly is you - you ... Is it you ?! This is YOU... Well OK, nothing new. Still alive I’ve kissed you - cold! - At least now you're not entirely guilty; YOU don't know what is wrong with ME - and thank God! I even put a cross sign - for atavism, not that there is god ... Seemingly I kneel down, while on tiptoes, to reach you ... How tall you are! And as many, many many times - SOUL IN THE SOUL – I’m kissing you again ... They're forcing me away from your body. And I hear through a mist of ammonia solution: "We appreciate your strong feelings. But stoic nerves are needed here! Therefore we ask you to leave - the worst is yet to come ... Go away! Do you hear! I order here! I'm already quite depressed ... Ah - this one - yours! ... He was hopeless. A vertebral-basilar incident. " "I, Doctor, am all - calm. But I can also go crazy like that, that your whole vertebral army can't lift you to your feet! We know each other ... don't tease me at all; don't scare me with the scariest things. They have already passed through me. So that - do what you still have there ... " Is that the doctor is an old friend (He's a bit of a necrophiliac, too) - but I stand by your head again ... (As in a Bulgarian feature film.) And I watch the worst happen - they cut you ... in complete silence ... (This is already a Bertolucci film.) The bone is thin - like a woman's. (And your skin was like bones! And he was torn forever - to the point of blood - from excessive tenderness; from shortage of tenderness ... Well, wasn't he like that?) Ah ... The doctors have already opened you! Now they are exposing the brain stem ... Like a crown on a huge walnut I see your gray matter! I see a miracle that no one he couldn't warn me ... It sprouted from this fragile tissue endless space ... Well - it's you! Infinite space. And infinitely small ... But he got to the molecule both the stellar and the human naval; and the roots in the bowels of the earth; madness: "You or us ?!" - with the blood that flows and flows; hope in the flying saucers with the innocent green man; and this eternal faith - that we are eternal! - inflamed in love ecstasy of all living things - and living already - and it became dust ... And all that jazz.

Life of Revv. Simeon fool-for-Christ and his co-faster John

 

Житие на преподобните наши отци Симеон, юродив заради Христа, и Иоан, негов сподвижник

В дните на благочестивия цар Иустиниан, когато христолюбивите люде се стичали в светия град Иерусалим на празника Въздвижение на честния и животворящ Кръст Господен, по Божий промисъл дошли двама младежи от Сирия в Иерусалим за поклонение на честното дърво на Кръста. Името на единия било Иоан, а на другия - Симеон; и двамата били знатни и богати.

По това време Иоан бил на 24 години; той имал млада жена и живеел при възрастния си баща, а майка му вече била починала; Симеон бил още ерген и имал само майка, вдовица на 80 години. Двамата младежи, произхождащи от една страна и сдружили се помежду си в Христовата любов, прекарали заедно в Иерусалим много време, обхождайки и покланяйки се на светите места. Когато, връщайки се у дома, се спускали в Иерихонската долина, като вървели в подножието на планината, и минавали край града по бреговете на свещената река Иордан, видели манастири. Тогава Иоан се обърнал към Симеон и попитал:

Orthodox Spiritual Life: Saint Theophan the Recluse - CONFESSION

 

Translated from Bulgarian
https://bulgarian-orthodox-church.org/rr/life/st_Theophan_Recluse/ps_2006_1.4.html

 

Confession

Saint Theophan the Recluse

Confession, the untying of sins by the spiritual father and the communion with the holy, pure and life-giving Mysteries of Christ are a consequence of the sinner’s finally matured determination to walk towards the Lord. It is not an appendage to the work of conversion, but its necessary completion, the sealing down of what has been formed in the heart at the moment of determination. I remind this lest no one would think of limiting oneself only to an internal addressing to God, neglecting the Holy Divine Sacraments. Such an addressing will be uncertain and shall lead to no good. If the smith makes a knife properly but does not temper it, the knife will remain soft and useless. Just in the same way, the person who has decided to abandon sin and commence a new life, if one does not confess and receive Holy Communion, one would not have the strength and the courage for any good, one would be lethargic, one would miss out opportunities to do good and one would always give way to obstacles. And that means – staying in almost the same position as before, or stopping in mid-road. He who has made up his mind has stood up. But just as the one who has risen gets dressed and gets ready for work, so the one who has made the resolution must dress and arm oneself with the grace of confession and of Holy Communion, so that with spiritual powers, and in the necessary arms, to begin the works of pleasing God and of salvation. When the night has passed and day has come, man goes about his business and his work until the evening (cf. Ps. 104: 22-23). Likewise, when the night of sin passes and the day of grace in Jesus Christ dawns in the soul, the one who has been vouchsafed grace unto goes to work and labors until the evening of one’s life. God helps him and confirms his good undertakings with His grace [deigning] and blessing.

Saint Theophan the Recluse

Repentance and confession are the heart of fasting. Preceding exploits serve as a preparation for it, while communion crowns and completes it all. Without true repentance and confession, exploits would remain fruitless, and Holy Communion would for us not serve for the healing of our souls and bodies.

The work of repentance is but a sigh plus the words: "I have sinned, I shall sin no more!". But this sigh must pass across the heavens to intercede before the throne of Righteousness. And these words must erase from the book of life all our sins written there. Where shall they get such a strength from? From relentless self-condemnation and heartbreak. This is where all our penitential zeal must be focused on: [namely] to soften and break our hearts , and then, in the hour of confession, to not be ashamed to discover all that shames us before God and men. In the work of fasting [GOVEENE], it seems most difficult for us to go to confession and reveal our soul to our spiritual father.

While in fact, this should be the most joyful thing for us. Is it not joyful for one covered with wounds to get healed? Doesn't he who is stained with all kinds of impurities rejoice when he is washed? Or the one in chains – when he regains freedom? But precisely in this is the power of the absolution received by the priest at confession. We step in covered with wounds – and we leave healed. We come in unclean – and we come out washed. We step in in chains – and we go out free. Such is God's promise: "Declare thou [Confess your iniquities first], , that thou mayest be justified!" (Isa. 43:26 - according to Slav. transl.).

You shall be justified, no doubt, but first confess your iniquities without hiding anything. Know that only the open wound is healed, only the impurity revealed is washed away, only the chains shown are broken. And so, beware lest you go away unhealed, unwashed, and unliberated.

God is the One who works here. The spiritual father represents Him and speaks His word. God knows your sins, and you, too, cannot mentally be unaware of them before Him. But He wants to know: would you expose your sins to His face if He Himself stood before you, or would you begin to stubbornly deny your guilt like your forefathers did? This was exactly why He deigned to appear to you in the person of the spiritual father who confesses you, having commissioned him to pronounce in His name the words of permission, and therefore they, although being uttered on earth by a weak creature, are sealed in heaven by God's power.

And the spiritual father represents also another face [Hypostas] - the face of all humanity. He who is ashamed to denounce himself in confession, let him chase that shame by thinking that here shame is endured for shame: a lesser shame instead of a greater one, a salvific shame instead of a hopeless and useless shame. One day all our evil deeds shall be exposed to the face of all mankind and shall cover us with such shame that we would rather have mountains piled up on us than bear it. This is why God has ordained that we should be ashamed before one, so that by this he may save us from being ashamed before all mankind.

There is a most pernicious cunning in our hearts: sometimes we willingly reveal all our sins except the greatest, that which most stains us and covers our face with shame. Most often it is a sin of the flesh, but any other one may be in its place. He who suffers from this infirmity is ready to endure all exploits and perform all virtues, so long as his beloved malady remains intact. But the law of the Lord is this: do not give Me alms when you suffer from unchastity; do not give Me fast when you are burdened by selfishness; do not give Me prayer work when you are suffering from vanity. Discover your wound to heal yourself and adorn yourself with its opposite virtue. And so, let every soul be inspired to overcome within itself exactly that which is overcome with effort and resistance.

This unworthy fruit of repentance is a consequence of improper preparation for confession. Confession is preceded by fasting [GOVEENE] in the labors of the fast, inner seclusion, vigil and prayer. This order of austere life, which mortifies the flesh, is instituted, so that beneath the external feat the contrite-and-penitent movements of the heart may arise and be manifest. It is necessary as an aid, but without the feelings of repentance it is aimless and loses its meaning. He who breaks down [in contrition] only outwardly cannot yet be said to have the strength for a full, blameless confession. But he who breaks down internally, for him the confession is pure, complete, hiding nothing. He who has come to known his sin, confessed himself to be guilty of it, lamented it and has begun to abhor it, he has inwardly, with the very mood of his heart, said already to God: "I am guilty, I shall sin no more!”. Such a person is ready to confess to the whole world, and not only to his spiritual father. And this is where the wholesomeness of repentance is rooted - in heart0felt contrition for sins, accompanied by disgust for them! A broken and contrite heart God will not despise. Let us soften our hearts, melt them through contrition, and they will themselves throw away everything impure from within, and the confession will burn that with the fire of shame and of God's forgiveness.

The weeping and grieving heart attracts wisdom, which teaches the penitent to act thus inwardly and outwardly in repentance, that he may with full hands reap its fruits, which include not only pardon and all-forgiveness, but also a complete change of heart for the better, whence the mending of life comes. A deeply contrite person confesses everything and after the confession is a completely new person. Remember the examples of the Saints Mary of Egypt, Taisia, Eudokia, Moses Murin, David, the malefactor on the cross, etc. Let everyone who fasts and prepares for confession be jealous of such a change !

Contrition and confession – through the permissive prayer – unite the Divine and the human elements in repentance, and a new creature emerges from them, as from the baptismal font. May the most merciful Lord honor you all with this, and may you all come out of the hospital of penitence completely healed and perfectly renewed in all the affections and dispositions of your hearts, so that henceforth you may love that which you were formerly cold to, and abstain from that to which you were formerly addicted: loving meekness instead of anger, humility instead of pride, sobriety instead of drunkenness, chastity instead of fornication, benevolence instead of envy, friendship instead of hatred, generosity instead of avarice, temperance instead of lust, diligence instead of sloth, concentration instead of distraction, peaceability instead of quarrelsomeness, a kind word and preservation of one's neighbor's honor instead of condemnation and slander — in a word, instead of every vice and every passion — their opposite virtue and benevolence. A well-repentant Christian, when after the confession the companions from his past bad life invited him to the usual entertainments, answered firmly: "I am no longer the same!" . This is the mood we must show at the end of the feat of fasting, so that when the usual passions appear and demand to be satisfied, our whole being will answer: "I am no longer the same!".

You can order the entire book (in Bulgarian)  at
the Orthodox bookstore "Rev. Maximos the Confessor"

 

Or check VID’s books on Google
https://pra-blah.blogspot.com/2023/01/book-inventory-vladimir-djambov-talmach.html  

– or the same list at
https://vidjambov.blogspot.com/2022/08/book-inventory-to-sell.html  

We are now leaving very slowly - Yessenin, a centenary song

 

В ту страну, где тишь и благодать

https://youtu.be/PF8kFRBnKfA

 

We are now leaving very slowly
To that country of peace and grace.
Maybe soon I will be on my way there [lonely]
My mortal belongings to collect.

O Dear birch-tree thickets!
You earth! And you, the sands of plains!
Before this departing host
My longing I can never never hide.

In this world I've loved too much [and many]
Everything that vests the soul in flesh.
Peace to aspens that spreading out their branches,
Look deep into the rosy water [fresh].

I've thought up lot of words in silence,
Many songs for myself I've composed,
And on this sad and gloomy earth
I'm happy that I've breathed and I've lived.

Happy that I've kissed you, o my women,
[Have] Crumpled flowers, [have] rolled on the grass
And no beast, [as] our smaller brethren, –
I've ever hit one on the head.

I know that thickets do not bloom there,
Rye with swan's neck does not ring at all.
That is why before the host has left out
I always feel a trembling so sublime.

I know that there will not be in that country
All these cornfields, golden in the gloom.
This is why I hold so dear to my heart,
People who live with me on the earth.

Yessenin
Tr., 13 April 2020

 

Сергей Есенин / 1924

 

Мы теперь уходим понемногу…

THE BEATLES - AUDITIONS | The Voice , Got Talent, X Factor

Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night – Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)

 

Превод от английски

Не си отивай нежно в добрината,
Пред края да бушува старостта;
Със ярост вий срещу смъртта на светлината.

Мъдрецът в заника си знай, че тъмното си е наред,
И защото словото му не избухна в мълния
Не си отива нежно в добрината.

И след последната вълна добрякът се вайка колко ярко
Бедните му дела биха танцували в зеления залив,
И с ярост вий срещу смъртта на светлината.

Дивакът, който в полет хвана слънцето и го възпя,
И се научи, твърде късно, да го ожалва по пътя му,
Не си отива нежно в добрината.

Гробарят, близо до смъртта, който ослепяващо провижда
Как слепи очи могат да пламнат като метеори и да са весели,
Със ярост вий срещу смъртта на светлината.

А ти, Отец мой, там на тъжното висине,
Моля Те: прокълни, благослови, ме сега със Своите свирепи сълзи.
Не си отивай нежно в добрината.
Със ярост вий срещу смъртта на светлината.

Дилън Томас

 

Прев. Владимир Джамбов
23 ноември 2023 г.

Cecco Angiolieri - If I were fire

 

If I were fire (Translation)

If I were fire, I would burn the world;
if I were wind, I would bestorm it;
if I were water, I would drown it;
if I were God, I would hurl it into the deep;

If I were Pope, I would be happy then,
as I would harry all the Christians;
if I were emperor, d’you know what I would do?
I would chop off all their heads completely (like a rotary scythe).

If I were death, I would go to my father;
if I were life, I would run from him,
and I would do the same for my mother.

If I were Cecco, as I am and have been,
I would take for myself all the young and pretty women,
and leave the lame and ugly ones for others.

 

 

Cecco Angiolieri - Wikipedia
a contemporary of Dante Alighieri

S'i' fosse foco, ardere' il mondo;
s'i' fosse vento, lo tempestarei;
s'i' fosse acqua, i' l'annegherei;
s'i' fosse Dio, mandereil'en profondo;

s'i' fosse papa, serei allor giocondo,
ché tutti cristïani embrigarei;
s'i' fosse 'mperator, sa' che farei?
a tutti mozzarei lo capo a tondo.

S'i' fosse morte, andarei da mio padre;
s'i' fosse vita, fuggirei da lui:
similemente faria da mi' madre,

S'i' fosse Cecco, com'i' sono e fui,
torrei le donne giovani e leggiadre:
le vecchie e laide lasserei altrui.

Cecco Angiolieri - Fabrizio De Andre - S'i fosse foco 1968 / Volume III

A Recollection for Rangel Valchanov on his 95th birth anniversary

 

Rangel Valchnov (12.10.1928 – 30.09.2013).

Journalist Mila Kudrina with a recollection

for her father Rangel Valchanov
on his 95th birth anniversary

12/10/2023 Facebook

Journalist Mila Kudrina, who lives in Moscow with her husband and son, published on Facebook her recollection for the great film director Rangel Valchanov, who is her father, although she and her mother, the singer Greta Gancheva, were not married. The commemoration is on the occasion of the 95th birth anniversary of Rangel Valchanov, who passed away in 2013, shortly before his 85th birthday.

 

This is what Mila Kudrina wrote on her Facebook profile:

 

"Am I stupid, what am I, but I keep running as if life will never end. It seems best not to stop.” Rangel Valchanov (wrote) would have turned 95 today (October 12, 1928 – September 30, 2013). With him, Bulgarian cinema has its own unique Artistry. No one like Rangel can charm so powerfully with tradition and nihilism, with Shopian [shoppi] devilry and fantasy shrapnels.

 

Today, Bulgaria has no particular reasons whatever to be proud, but the mere mention of Rangel Valchanov is a signal to raise one’s head. A carnival entertainer and frivolous sage, since the 1950s he has been the embodiment of the Game as overtrumping between air and earth, spirit and matter, intuition and thought. Few in Bulgarian culture are his equal.

 

He is our film colossus without a "Golden Rose" [award], but with a popular conviction that he stands alone. Rangel was the unique one of Bulgarian cinema, without whose volcanic fantasy it would have been much more fragile. Between "On the Small Island" (1958) and "And Where To Today" (2007), he created 17 feature films and several documentaries, each conceived and completed [in full] as a "restless bird", and most of them were volleys of freedom in a society of ideological obedience.

 

Regardless of whether it was for the colorful and vital stream of consciousness in his long-suffering masterpiece for the Bulgarian doom "The Patent Shoes of the Unknown Warrior" (1979), whether it was the headlong wandering through the absurd in "The Sun and the Shadow" (1962), "The She-Wolf" (1965), "Last Wishes" (1982), "Where Are You Traveling To" (1986), "And Now Where To" (1988), "The Restless Love Bird" (1990) or "And Where To Today", was it the experimentation with genres and aesthetics in "The Inspector and the Night" (1963), "Escape to Ropotamo" (1973), "With Love and Tenderness" (1978) or "Fatal Tenderness" (1993), Rangel Valchanov breaks down barriers with unforgiving ease and winged nihilism. Emerging in the motley tumult of images, paradoxes, reminiscences, references, reflections and suggestions, is his impressive universe of an Artist. Hundreds of pages have been written about it. But now that everything is in the past, the great recapitulation of his work is yet to come.

 

The legacy left to us by Rangel Valchanov is priceless - not only as films, roles, productions and books, but also as a position, (and) communication. His living charm is unique. To him, neither age nor illness were a cause for despondency.

 

In 2019, Kosta Bykov created "Rangel Forever" - his second documentary about Rangel Valchanov after "Journey Between Two Films" (1998)...